God is good.

I learned that from the time I could comprehend English.

We hear that God is good all the time.
And HE IS!

But

What about when there is something that happens in your life that is not good?

When sickness hits
And the doctors don’t know what to do,
When someone you love dearly dies
And you never got a chance to say goodbye,
When disaster strikes
And there is no relief in sight…

As I sit and reflect on the natural disasters in our nation over the past month,
It is easy to question God’s goodness.

I remember sitting in my basement over seven years ago
Questioning
Doubting
Angry

I wasn’t facing a national disaster like so many are facing right now.
I was staring at the face of cancer in my mom and pleading for God to heal,
But He wasn’t.

I knew He had the ability.

But He didn’t.

Thus began my inner struggle with the goodness of God.

Because when something like that happens,
We feel let down,
Disappointed,

Even betrayed.

How could a “good” God let bad things happen?
Especially when you believe He had the power to stop it…

 

Then I began to examine my own logic.

Somewhere in our heads, I believe there are a lot of subtle beliefs that we have that come from our own made-up rationale.
We believe it because it makes sense to us.

I was always taught that God is good.
So somewhere in my head I thought of myself as a good person.
Surely if I am good to God, then He will be good to me,

Right?

He should probably reward my good deeds with a pain-free life.

I am a humble servant of God, doing all kinds heartfelt works for Him.
He would not be able to move without my amazing contribution to His kingdom.
How dare there ever be heartache in my life,
After all I have done for Him!

Ok, so that is a bit of a sarcastic exaggeration to prove a point.

But it definitely has truth to it.

When I begin to see myself as someone who is higher than I am,
Who is doing things for God to earn His favor,
(Even thought I would never admit to that fact)
I begin to feel like God owes me in some way.

After all, I am truly the best thing that He ever created, so He definitely owes me His goodness.

Can God still be good, even when His plan is different from mine?

Do I have the right to define what the goodness of God means?

 

I am not trying to diminish the pain people feel,
Or explain away the anger and betrayal some may feel towards God when the horrific happens.
Those feelings are real and genuine,
And I will continue to struggle with them as I look at all the heartache and pain in this world.
Because there are things so big and horrible and inexcusable that happen in this world we live in;
Things that cannot be explained away with simple answers.
And I am not at all trying to say that I understand all the works of God
Or why things happen.
Nor am I going to say the cliche’ Christian phrase “Everything happens for a reason.”
Because at times like this, empty cliche’ phrases do not help.

I will say, however, that through it all:
My hope still rests in Jesus.
~Even when life does not turn out the way I want it to
~Even when horrible things happen
~Even when I am disappointed in what God has chosen to do
~Even when He does not fix the mess

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