graduation

To my son
On your graduation day,

There are a few things I need you to know.

As you walk across that stage
To me, you are still small.
And part of me may always see you this way.

Because somewhere in my brain, time stood still.

There are times when I still see you how you were at certain stages in your life.
There are times I literally see the little boy you once were standing there staring at me.

As you walk across that stage
I need you to realize that to me, this journey all happened unbelievably fast.
Far too fast.

All of it.

As you walk across that stage
I distinctly remember the day that you were born.
I remember fearing you would look like an alien your whole life with that outrageous cone-head you had.
I still see your tiny little toes and red wrinkly skin,
And dreadfully remember the long nights you kept me up all night with colic.

As you walk across that stage
I see the proud smile that was on your face when you pushed baby brother’s hospital bed down the hallway to show him off.
I can still hear your voice chattering and belly-laughter coming from your bedroom as you would play with your toys for hours on end.

As you walk across that stage
I can feel the huge lump in my throat when I sent you to school for the first time,
And remember when I went to my car and cried.

That lump is back today.

As you walk across that stage
I picture you on a similar stage at elementary school programs.
You were so incredibly shy, so I know they terrified you.
I remember being so very proud of you as I watched you on that stage.

As you walk across that stage
I remember the headaches that came with riding on loud bus rides to field trips,
Being in the classroom helping your teachers,
And sitting in the rain watching you play little league.

As you walk across that stage
I remember middle school,
The phase when you were embarrassed by everything,
And had the world’s smelliest socks.

As you walk across that stage
All I can think is that high school came and went so fast.
But not just high school.
It all came and went so fast.

Most of all
As you walk across that stage
I need you to know that the boy I see walking across that stage is the most incredible man.
He has shown perseverance, incredible work ethic, and is remarkably responsible.
He is respectful and polite, thoughtful and kind;
A man of true integrity.

It all went so insanely fast.
There are days I wish I could relive.
There were times I wished I could have slowed down.

But looking at that man walking across that stage,
I am just so very proud of who you have become
And who you are becoming.

Finally, as you walk across that stage
I am anticipating the amazing future you have ahead of you.
It seems like you have grown instantly right in front of my very eyes,
Yet the man I see standing there is someone more than I had anticipated,
Someone far better than I could have imagined.

Someone amazing.
And he is my little boy.
He is my son.

I am so incredibly proud of who you are.

So proud!

I am your biggest fan.