board game

I am slightly competitive.

I lied.

I am extremely competitive.

You may not suspect it when you first meet me.

I am the quiet introvert.
Calm, collected, peaceful…

Yet when you bring out a game, everything in me wants to win.
WIN.

Second place sucks.

Loose by a point? You still loose.

I try with all that is in me to not let the competitive diva in me out when someone brings out a game.

I usually spend a lot of energy containing my composure.
Trying to keep my poker face.
And my poker face is fairly solid.
Act like I don’t really care if I win or loose.
Do not let it show that I am trying to win.
That my secret desire at that moment is to take you down…

But I care.

And I am not entirely sure that it is a desire to win.
It is more a fear of loosing.

Because, if you were to see my face when I do win, you might see a smirk.
Or maybe a quick ‘raise the roof.’

I am not the one to gloat.
I am embarrassed, even, when people point out that I win a lot.

I just hate to loose.
I have always hated to loose.

Why is that?

What is it inside us that does not like to be second best?
What is it inside me that does not want to settle for last place?

Someone has to loose.

And inside my head I know how absolutely ridiculous I am about it.

I mean, come on!
*eye roll*
It’s a board game.

I know. I know…